Body Blogs

I also talked to my friend TS Elmwood the other day. I mentioned to her that I had started this blog a while ago.

“A few years ago, I read a bunch of blogs, but I realized that most of them were what I called Bodily Function Blogs.”

I hate to ask.

“There are three kinds of Bodily Function Blogs. The first is the Navel Gazer.”

Is navel gazing a bodily function?

“Close enough. If you are a good writer, you can use an interior monologue. But most of these blogs reminded me of the things I wrote in my diary when I was thirteen.”

Dear Diary, I wish that cute guy in math class would notice me. Ten Joni Mitchell Songs That Make Me Feel Better.

“It was The Moody Blues in my diary. Second type is the Diarrhea Blog.”

Again, I hate to ask.

“You know what I mean. Long rants about nothing. Crap, crap, and more crap.”

And the third?

“The throat clearer. The blogger who might have something to say, but cannot seem to say it.”

Ahem. I haven’t really gotten my blog going yet.

“I know you, and you have plenty to say. Find some focus and discipline, which are the writer’s friends.”

I once had someone summarize my posts as “terse and cryptic.”

“If you intend to be terse and cryptic, that’s fine. I assume you actually want to communicate, so it’s not fine.”

Focus and discipline.

“You can do it. I’ll be checking up on you.”